gaming

Goodbye to yesterday

After agonizing internally for months, I went public with my decision to quit playing WoW almost two weeks ago. Guilt was the only thing that tied me to the world of Azeroth; although by the end of my run I was a piss-poor example of a Death Knight, I was still part of a raiding guild. I had a fiancé who still wanted to play the game. So, I forced myself to play. That… was a well-intended mistake.

I capped Valor for the first few weeks of my former guild’s raider initiative program, as was expected of me. I did dailies each day, working double-time to catch up after the healing process from a laparoscopy had me bedridden. The combination of complete ALL the dailies and chaining dungeons day in, day out was mind-numbingly boring. I did the occasional LFR to ~spice things up~, but anyone who has stepped foot in one can attest that LFR is a cesspool; I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve reported for being hatemongers. Each day after I finished the daily grind, my desire to do the “fun” stuff, like pet collecting or PvP lessened until it hit zero. Jake would ask if I wanted to do an Onyxian Drake run, I’d reply, “Nah.” Mount collecting used to be my thing and I had especially wanted the pretty purple dragon who eluded capture week after week. 

By the time Throne of Thunder hit, what little momentum I had going fell flat on its face. I was completely burnt out. My listlessness toward WoW spilled into my “personal” gaming life as well, I no longer felt like playing anything because it was too much effort. Since when did one of my favourite hobbies become a soul-sucking chore?

At that point, not even the thought of raiding sustained me. For the last few weeks of my subscription, I logged in the one day a week I was scheduled to raid and idly hit my 3 (Frost Strike), 4 (Obliterate), and 5 (Howling Blast) keys while checking my phone. DoT uptime? If I felt like bothering. Soul Reaper at 35%? Pfft. I no longer cared about my raid performance, I was too busy counting down the seconds to “freedom.” I was once a social butterfly who joked, teased, and emoted her way through the three hours spent raiding. That girl ended up replaced by a robot who hardly acknowledged /raid, despite my former love for guild camaraderie.  So after almost eight years of playing World of Warcraft, I made the decision to let go. Stealing that raid spot wasn’t fair to whoever was riding the bench for me, just like living a virtual lie wasn’t fair to myself.

Walking away felt bittersweet, like finally losing touch with an old friend who had grown up alongside you. I started playing WoW as a high school sophomore! It was my first MMO and the game that I always found myself running back to, even after flirting with several other MMOs. But, we’ve both changed and nostalgia only titillates for so long.

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9 thoughts on “Goodbye to yesterday”

  1. Burn out affecting you wanting to play other games? Guilt keeping you logging in even though you totally don’t enjoy it anymore? Check and check. I seriously envy you for quitting entirely! I don’t even know why my account is still active when my heart isn’t in it anymore. I really need to just man up and find a new GM and get on with my life already. Good luck in your new adventures!

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  2. I hear you completely. My subscription remains solely to aid my guild if they need me to farm up items, to craft lightning steel ingots for BS patterns, hang with the boyfriend if he wants to do something when not raiding, and pet battles here and there.

    I’ve lost the motivation myself and turned to F2P MMO’s like Ragnarok 2 to rejuevenate my love for games. In short, when you know, you know. 🙂 /hugs

    Maybe I’ll see you in SW:TOR if I go back 🙂 xoxo

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  3. Oh Aesa! I had no idea you felt that way! I guess it wasn’t that obvious from your posts (or maybe the frequency might have been a hint?) but – and this sounds REALLY STUPID – you will always be remembered by me for that time long ago when I came to visit and you let me take a pic of you. Hugs to you and whatever you may get up to!

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